Its weird when I look at the Safer Campus Community website. My heart drops on the floor. My eyes well-up. I start to feel sad and I don't know how to explain it.
There is so much information about what to do, who to contact, and a direct and anonymous way to report.
I look at it and I feel like someone cares, that I'd actually be safe and there's somewhere that's okay to talk about what happened.
It makes me feel sad because I remember what things were like in 2016, when I had to deal with what happened when I rejected romantic attention from a university lecturer.
What was there for me wasn't anything like a Safer Campus Community site. I spent over a year confused about what to do. Feeling alone. When it seemed like I hit a dead end, I became depressed and thought about leaving.
I doubted myself. I doubted other people from the university who tried to help me, and still do. It feels like nothing has changed for me. Giving up and wishing I never talked to anyone about it always comes back up when it seems like its too hard. I'm still not sure what to do.
Semester 1 was ending and I volunteered to help out at an event hosted by a lecturer I was doing my minor with. They were going to lead a ten day study tour overseas later in the year, and I looked forward to it.
The function was for first years finishing the same course I did. I cut onions and vegetables the first time, and was asked to find volunteers and make some food again.
In second year I was thinking about what I would do when I graduated. The lecturer was working with a tutoring program for the department and they were looking for people with my GPA. The money was good and it looked great on my resume. I wanted to make the best impression and ask for their reference to the department.
Before the function happened, I went to a university held talk on a subject for my minor. I saw the lecturer at the same event, and wanted to start a conversation about the tutoring position. I was invited to a bar afterwards.
Everything was bought for me, even though I wanted to pay. That was maybe the only weird thing that happened. They asked for my phone number, and I thought that was okay.
In the end I was guaranteed a reference. I was excited, and still wanted to help with the upcoming event they planned.
Some emails went back and fourth with updates. The first alarm bell went off when they wrote to me 'I had a dream about you'.
It didn't go on from there, and I didn't ask what it mean't. It was awkward. But in their lectures and tutorials, sometimes it was intense. People I did the same subjects with thought they were a bit crazy.
That wasn't normal, but that person wasn't either...
I put it aside, and invited them to drinks with a friend who helped after the function as a thank you. I regret it a lot.
They were disappointed my friend was coming. I didn't think that was a thing. But after we finished and left the bar my friend went off. Alone, they told me what they had that dream was about.
I'm too embarassed to write what it was, it said a lot. I froze up. All the other weird stuff they said before took on a very different meaning now.
My friend suddenly came back before I could speak. I was relieved. After exchanging a polite goodbye I rushed to the train station to go home, creeped out by what was said and worried about what would happen if I said I wasn't interested in them.
When I got home there were texts I had to deal with. I have them still, but don't like to look at them. They were about how they had feelings for me and hoped I felt the same. I responded in the best way I could.
I didn't want to hurt their feelings more than anything. I hoped it wouldn't affect my prospects as well, if I'm honest. My reply might've given them a sense something could still happen, I don't know. I didn't tell anyone.
A couple of months passed. I got the job but all the work went to others who had more experience or better networks than I did. It didn't give me anything, but later on I was glad I didn't have to work with the lecturer.
Things seemed fine for the upcoming study tour. I wanted to avoid them as much as possible, but it didn't seem like anything would happen after I said no. I didn't wait long to see it wasn't over.
Something made them change how they treated me. It wasn't texts or anything romantic or sexual, but it was deeply personal. On the study tour I was singled out for something I did wrong. What it was they never told me, or anyone else.
On the third day they got drunk and talked with other members of the group about leaving me behind, or sending me home. I was told at the end they said to another member of the group, while drunk, they wanted to 'teach me a lesson'.
I tried to apologise when I thought I did something wrong on the trip. I thought it was something I could fix. They made it clear they wouldn't accept it. For the rest of the time I was pushed to the side without any explanation.
They wouldn't speak to me directly, and I didn't know what would happen next.
I know it was because of their feelings for me. Maybe it was because I was avoiding them. But it felt like I was being punished by someone with more power than me and the authority to make me feel scared, because they weren't going to get anything from me.
The first person I told about it was my friend on the study tour. I showed them the messages in my inbox. They felt the same way, and it helped me gather the courage to report it when I got back.
It was the right choice, but it made things hard. I learned over a depressing two months the university didn't want to know about it, or be on my side.
I wrote a message to Global Learning for advice about who I should talk to. I had this idea something like a Safer Campus Community website was somewhere offline. One place to go with this sort of issue where I could make it known, even anonymously.
Someone would take it seriously, I thought. There would be rules. A set of policies with a red line. Something.
I didn't want to ask for much. I wanted to make a report, and if anyone had the same problems and came forward something could be done about it.
I didn't want any type of compensation, attention or want them to suffer. I was afraid of being 'one of those people', and had the idea what I went through was low on a scale for things that could happen to students. I thought about the people dealing with being touched. Or daily verbal and sexual behaviour that made them uncomfortable and want to drop out.
In comparison it didn't seem to matter. It was likely my fault, I thought, and maybe I was asking for it.
Anything involving the word 'harassment' I wanted to stay far away from too. Like I said, there were more deserving people for that word on the scale than me. I also didn't know if it was the same thing, even when my friends said it was.
There was a good reply from the first person at Global Learning, and it went to a manager. From there I was told there was something called the 'Grievance Resolution Process' or SGRP, that had 4 steps.
It seemed like this and counselling were the only options the university was going to give me, and it was up to me to find out who to talk to.
Following the old links sent to me takes me to 'Academic Grievances'. Its like the problem I had was the same as getting a Pass for a Credit Average assignment.
The steps are still there except now there is a seperate tab for 'Unfair Treatment' that leads to the Safer Campus Community site. I'm pretty glad.
The first step of the SGRP was to confront the person about what you went through. I'm not joking. It was optional, but seemed to still matter in how much you would be taken seriously.
I felt pressure to follow it even if I didn't feel comfortable. It felt expected.
The second was to talk to the head of the department itself through the grievance process. I wasn't sure what to do. I contacted a Grievance Resolution Officer for advice, and recieved a response that still shocks me.
I was told that there were no rules against what happened to me in the codes of conduct or anything that breached an employment contract (despite never bringing that up), except if I was below the age of 18.
I passed off, and told to see a counsellor or an AUU Education and Welfare Officer (EWO) at Student Care. It was like being told to give up.
Not long ago I heard if someone had the energy they could go through another way, with the Vice Chancellor and Deputy Vice Chancellor, and have it go to the faculties H.R. It could be up to a year before getting an outcome or resolution, good or bad. But the university, as hard as it would fight to not give anything to the person, could be forced to do something eventually.
One international student was compensated for a semester and had their grades reviewed for what, I was told, was less than what happened to me (on that dumb scale I thought existed). I didn't know this.
I went to a counsellor who backed up what the officer had to say because they knew them and trusted what they had to say. Talking to them didn't give me much closure either.
That only left seeing an EWO about it.
While all this was going on it was difficult to focus on the rest of the semester. I started to fall behind on lectures and work. I had some problems at home to deal with, and didn't complete the semester
Since all I wanted was for what happened to be noted by the right people, or on the record, it seemed really unfair. I wasn't one of 'those people' who was making it into a big deal for attention or money.
I thought I was doing the right thing, and had reasonable intentions. I could prove what happened, I wasn't making it up.
But all I was getting from the universities response wasn't support, or a clear sense of direction. Staff on the ground were confused about what policies existed, or told me their weren't any. Sometimes it seemed like I was only being told things as damage control.
There was finally a breakthrough when the EWO at Student Care told me to talk outside of the 4 step process with the dean of the department.
I did, and it was worth it.
They understood what happened to me and brought my story to H.R with the evidence I had. I didn't have to go as far as others did. And I can't describe how much it felt to finally be listened to.
Even when the response was more about the reputation of the department than about what I went through it did seem like it mattered.
I went to see a fact-finder hired by H.R with my evidence a few months later, and two days before my birthday in 2017. They seemed really dismissive, but I was getting somewhere.
I waited months for a response from the Dean. I found out the lecturer in response to the investigation took leave to avoid it, but I wanted to know if there were changes as I started my third year.
Nothing came back. I started to lose trust.
The Human Rights Commission Report came out and I wanted to find out what happened. I went through the process again with Student Affairs to see if the department was doing the right thing.
My emails from the Dean were very vague, and replies were late. I brought the matter to the Vice Chancellor and the deputy Vice Chancellor, but ended up with the same result.
Something might be done about it. What it was I wasn't supposed to know, and legally they didn't need to tell me.
I have been seeing the specially trained counsellor appointed to deal with these issues as part of the universities response to the recommendations, and that's probably all I got with the changes.
My faculty cleared my record from that second semester I failed. It pushed back my graduation.
I don't know if other people had a better experience after August.
After all of this happened I read an article about what happened to another student at Adelaide University in 2014. She had passed out when another student she knew penetrated her with his fingers, and continued to do it when he was told to stop when she couldn't move.
A university staff member came forward with a character reference for the perpetrator in court, and though he was found guilty of doing it, was given a much lighter sentence because of the reference.
The same article detailed the fact the university offered perpetrators support in a way that gave them the benefit of the doubt for their behaviour, and made it seem like they didn't do anything wrong.
I also read elsewhere the university never made sure perpetrators were expelled for what happened. Survivors had no policies to help them be seperated from their attacker on campus, in their accomidation or in the same faculty.
Sexual harassment and sexual assault are very different in what they are. But the universities response has been the same right up until the Respect. Now. Always Task Force came in, and positive action was forced on it. Defensive, and against survivors.
Even in the lead up to the report, the university was reluctant to release the results of its data. That was reported by On Dit last year.
I base a lot of what I want to say on my own experience, I can't speak for anyone else. But the University of Adelaide has never wanted attention when it does the wrong thing.
I think it still wants to make it hard for survivors seeking support if they're brave enough to protect its reputation, whatever ended up happening last year.
I'm worried about what that means for other students - if the reforms could be changed in the future if no one talks about it. If people just assume like I did the university will do the right thing.
I don't want anyone else to go through the same experience.
There is so much information about what to do, who to contact, and a direct and anonymous way to report.
I look at it and I feel like someone cares, that I'd actually be safe and there's somewhere that's okay to talk about what happened.
It makes me feel sad because I remember what things were like in 2016, when I had to deal with what happened when I rejected romantic attention from a university lecturer.
What was there for me wasn't anything like a Safer Campus Community site. I spent over a year confused about what to do. Feeling alone. When it seemed like I hit a dead end, I became depressed and thought about leaving.
I doubted myself. I doubted other people from the university who tried to help me, and still do. It feels like nothing has changed for me. Giving up and wishing I never talked to anyone about it always comes back up when it seems like its too hard. I'm still not sure what to do.
Semester 1 was ending and I volunteered to help out at an event hosted by a lecturer I was doing my minor with. They were going to lead a ten day study tour overseas later in the year, and I looked forward to it.
The function was for first years finishing the same course I did. I cut onions and vegetables the first time, and was asked to find volunteers and make some food again.
In second year I was thinking about what I would do when I graduated. The lecturer was working with a tutoring program for the department and they were looking for people with my GPA. The money was good and it looked great on my resume. I wanted to make the best impression and ask for their reference to the department.
Before the function happened, I went to a university held talk on a subject for my minor. I saw the lecturer at the same event, and wanted to start a conversation about the tutoring position. I was invited to a bar afterwards.
Everything was bought for me, even though I wanted to pay. That was maybe the only weird thing that happened. They asked for my phone number, and I thought that was okay.
In the end I was guaranteed a reference. I was excited, and still wanted to help with the upcoming event they planned.
Some emails went back and fourth with updates. The first alarm bell went off when they wrote to me 'I had a dream about you'.
It didn't go on from there, and I didn't ask what it mean't. It was awkward. But in their lectures and tutorials, sometimes it was intense. People I did the same subjects with thought they were a bit crazy.
That wasn't normal, but that person wasn't either...
I put it aside, and invited them to drinks with a friend who helped after the function as a thank you. I regret it a lot.
They were disappointed my friend was coming. I didn't think that was a thing. But after we finished and left the bar my friend went off. Alone, they told me what they had that dream was about.
I'm too embarassed to write what it was, it said a lot. I froze up. All the other weird stuff they said before took on a very different meaning now.
My friend suddenly came back before I could speak. I was relieved. After exchanging a polite goodbye I rushed to the train station to go home, creeped out by what was said and worried about what would happen if I said I wasn't interested in them.
When I got home there were texts I had to deal with. I have them still, but don't like to look at them. They were about how they had feelings for me and hoped I felt the same. I responded in the best way I could.
I didn't want to hurt their feelings more than anything. I hoped it wouldn't affect my prospects as well, if I'm honest. My reply might've given them a sense something could still happen, I don't know. I didn't tell anyone.
A couple of months passed. I got the job but all the work went to others who had more experience or better networks than I did. It didn't give me anything, but later on I was glad I didn't have to work with the lecturer.
Things seemed fine for the upcoming study tour. I wanted to avoid them as much as possible, but it didn't seem like anything would happen after I said no. I didn't wait long to see it wasn't over.
Something made them change how they treated me. It wasn't texts or anything romantic or sexual, but it was deeply personal. On the study tour I was singled out for something I did wrong. What it was they never told me, or anyone else.
On the third day they got drunk and talked with other members of the group about leaving me behind, or sending me home. I was told at the end they said to another member of the group, while drunk, they wanted to 'teach me a lesson'.
I tried to apologise when I thought I did something wrong on the trip. I thought it was something I could fix. They made it clear they wouldn't accept it. For the rest of the time I was pushed to the side without any explanation.
They wouldn't speak to me directly, and I didn't know what would happen next.
I know it was because of their feelings for me. Maybe it was because I was avoiding them. But it felt like I was being punished by someone with more power than me and the authority to make me feel scared, because they weren't going to get anything from me.
The first person I told about it was my friend on the study tour. I showed them the messages in my inbox. They felt the same way, and it helped me gather the courage to report it when I got back.
It was the right choice, but it made things hard. I learned over a depressing two months the university didn't want to know about it, or be on my side.
I wrote a message to Global Learning for advice about who I should talk to. I had this idea something like a Safer Campus Community website was somewhere offline. One place to go with this sort of issue where I could make it known, even anonymously.
Someone would take it seriously, I thought. There would be rules. A set of policies with a red line. Something.
I didn't want to ask for much. I wanted to make a report, and if anyone had the same problems and came forward something could be done about it.
I didn't want any type of compensation, attention or want them to suffer. I was afraid of being 'one of those people', and had the idea what I went through was low on a scale for things that could happen to students. I thought about the people dealing with being touched. Or daily verbal and sexual behaviour that made them uncomfortable and want to drop out.
In comparison it didn't seem to matter. It was likely my fault, I thought, and maybe I was asking for it.
Anything involving the word 'harassment' I wanted to stay far away from too. Like I said, there were more deserving people for that word on the scale than me. I also didn't know if it was the same thing, even when my friends said it was.
There was a good reply from the first person at Global Learning, and it went to a manager. From there I was told there was something called the 'Grievance Resolution Process' or SGRP, that had 4 steps.
It seemed like this and counselling were the only options the university was going to give me, and it was up to me to find out who to talk to.
Following the old links sent to me takes me to 'Academic Grievances'. Its like the problem I had was the same as getting a Pass for a Credit Average assignment.
The steps are still there except now there is a seperate tab for 'Unfair Treatment' that leads to the Safer Campus Community site. I'm pretty glad.
The first step of the SGRP was to confront the person about what you went through. I'm not joking. It was optional, but seemed to still matter in how much you would be taken seriously.
I felt pressure to follow it even if I didn't feel comfortable. It felt expected.
The second was to talk to the head of the department itself through the grievance process. I wasn't sure what to do. I contacted a Grievance Resolution Officer for advice, and recieved a response that still shocks me.
I was told that there were no rules against what happened to me in the codes of conduct or anything that breached an employment contract (despite never bringing that up), except if I was below the age of 18.
I passed off, and told to see a counsellor or an AUU Education and Welfare Officer (EWO) at Student Care. It was like being told to give up.
Not long ago I heard if someone had the energy they could go through another way, with the Vice Chancellor and Deputy Vice Chancellor, and have it go to the faculties H.R. It could be up to a year before getting an outcome or resolution, good or bad. But the university, as hard as it would fight to not give anything to the person, could be forced to do something eventually.
One international student was compensated for a semester and had their grades reviewed for what, I was told, was less than what happened to me (on that dumb scale I thought existed). I didn't know this.
I went to a counsellor who backed up what the officer had to say because they knew them and trusted what they had to say. Talking to them didn't give me much closure either.
That only left seeing an EWO about it.
While all this was going on it was difficult to focus on the rest of the semester. I started to fall behind on lectures and work. I had some problems at home to deal with, and didn't complete the semester
Since all I wanted was for what happened to be noted by the right people, or on the record, it seemed really unfair. I wasn't one of 'those people' who was making it into a big deal for attention or money.
I thought I was doing the right thing, and had reasonable intentions. I could prove what happened, I wasn't making it up.
But all I was getting from the universities response wasn't support, or a clear sense of direction. Staff on the ground were confused about what policies existed, or told me their weren't any. Sometimes it seemed like I was only being told things as damage control.
There was finally a breakthrough when the EWO at Student Care told me to talk outside of the 4 step process with the dean of the department.
I did, and it was worth it.
They understood what happened to me and brought my story to H.R with the evidence I had. I didn't have to go as far as others did. And I can't describe how much it felt to finally be listened to.
Even when the response was more about the reputation of the department than about what I went through it did seem like it mattered.
I went to see a fact-finder hired by H.R with my evidence a few months later, and two days before my birthday in 2017. They seemed really dismissive, but I was getting somewhere.
I waited months for a response from the Dean. I found out the lecturer in response to the investigation took leave to avoid it, but I wanted to know if there were changes as I started my third year.
Nothing came back. I started to lose trust.
The Human Rights Commission Report came out and I wanted to find out what happened. I went through the process again with Student Affairs to see if the department was doing the right thing.
My emails from the Dean were very vague, and replies were late. I brought the matter to the Vice Chancellor and the deputy Vice Chancellor, but ended up with the same result.
Something might be done about it. What it was I wasn't supposed to know, and legally they didn't need to tell me.
I have been seeing the specially trained counsellor appointed to deal with these issues as part of the universities response to the recommendations, and that's probably all I got with the changes.
My faculty cleared my record from that second semester I failed. It pushed back my graduation.
I don't know if other people had a better experience after August.
After all of this happened I read an article about what happened to another student at Adelaide University in 2014. She had passed out when another student she knew penetrated her with his fingers, and continued to do it when he was told to stop when she couldn't move.
A university staff member came forward with a character reference for the perpetrator in court, and though he was found guilty of doing it, was given a much lighter sentence because of the reference.
The same article detailed the fact the university offered perpetrators support in a way that gave them the benefit of the doubt for their behaviour, and made it seem like they didn't do anything wrong.
I also read elsewhere the university never made sure perpetrators were expelled for what happened. Survivors had no policies to help them be seperated from their attacker on campus, in their accomidation or in the same faculty.
Sexual harassment and sexual assault are very different in what they are. But the universities response has been the same right up until the Respect. Now. Always Task Force came in, and positive action was forced on it. Defensive, and against survivors.
Even in the lead up to the report, the university was reluctant to release the results of its data. That was reported by On Dit last year.
I base a lot of what I want to say on my own experience, I can't speak for anyone else. But the University of Adelaide has never wanted attention when it does the wrong thing.
I think it still wants to make it hard for survivors seeking support if they're brave enough to protect its reputation, whatever ended up happening last year.
I'm worried about what that means for other students - if the reforms could be changed in the future if no one talks about it. If people just assume like I did the university will do the right thing.
I don't want anyone else to go through the same experience.
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